OOPS…I did it again.

Every year I say and I quote, “I am not going to spend this much money on Christmas presents next year, we have totally missed the whole reason for the season”.

But every year, to quote the song, “I played with your heart, got lost in the game”.  When you have five children, their spouses, 12 grands, parents, brothers, sister, sister-in-law, nieces, nephews, friends and this list goes on, it’s so easy to get lost in the game and what’s a girl to do?

Then there is the whole “most wonderful time of year” thing that plays with my heart. Am I the only one that gets caught-up in the spirit of giving?  I mean, I can’t forget about my hairdresser, and then there is the less fortunate that I know baby Jesus is pleased with me doing a little something for them.

The truth is “'I’m not that innocent” (yes that is another quote from the song). I know full and well that I don’t have that kind of money. I also know that spending more money than I should is definitely not going to determine how those that I love judge me. Furthermore, it doesn’t add one ounce of reasoning for the season.  Finally, I know when I intercept the credit card bill, that I am not doing it because of my concern for my husband’s health. Although I realize it would give him a heart attack, and I would be left a widow.

I do it because it makes me feel good in the moment and I am a fool in so many ways (I can’t get the song out of my head ok). But just like the Christmas cookies that I had one too many of, the after affects have consequences. So, I am putting all my family and friends that read this on notice…Oh Baby Baby, I’m taking control.    

The Measure of Wealth

Recently while sightseeing in the affluent green hills of Brentwood, Tennessee, I was a little surprised when the tour guide spoke about the amount of involvement the rich and famous had in the local community. While many of them had high fences to maintain privacy, these celebrities’ children attended the local public schools and could frequently be seen at school plays, and even at the local Publix’s shopping for groceries.  While I totally “get-it” that these are simply real people, I found it quite fascinating. I also began imagining what the interaction between these family members over Christmas dinner or simply life after school would look and sound like behind the walls.

As soon as we returned home, we drove to be with family members that had recently lost their patriarch.  This brother, father, husband and grandfather was a gentle giant and was truly loved by so many. I listened as my husband, this sweet man’s children and grandchildren spoke of their times together. The stories of the private moments they shared laughing and enjoying each other seemed to paint a picture of his life I didn’t know existed. It also seemed to be some of the best times for this sweet family.  Now while this home was far from the green hills of the affluent neighborhood in Tennessee, for some reason the stories my husband’s family told resembled some of the same pictures I had imagined for the life of the Rich and Famous.

How could this be? Could it truly be that the measure of one’s wealth was not summed up by an outward appearance or by zip code?  Was one life style better than the other? I left resolved that neither was right or wrong and at the end of the day, behind all walls: high and low, lies our greatest assets.  Merry Christmas 

A Letter To My Girls

Your mother/grandmother has been identified as a “Generation X”, the lost generation slammed in between the boomers and millenniums. While I do not completely agree with this “X” identity, I did google it and find out a few things. Apparently the majority of my generation is not very confident in several things; one being making financial decisions. Furthermore, google showed that your generations will feel more financially confident and for that I am thankful.

So it is with great pride that I say, “You’re Welcome”! For you see, I now realize that even though I experienced financial challenges, my surviving made an impact on you. I also know that even though my generation saw the divorce rate climb astronomically, and I worried about the impact it might have on you, you will survive. Also, by being identified as the “Latchkey” generation, I was forced to invent multi-tasking. You see I found ways to manage my career without leaving you out of the equation.

You are also welcome because my generation didn’t know a life without de-segregation and women’s rights. You were raised that all men and women were created equal. You were also taught that no matter what your parents had or didn’t have, that you would ultimately determine your own wealth and lifestyle even as a female.

Finally, I hope that no matter what your checkbook looks like (since you will possess all of this financial confidence), I pray that you will always be a lady by showing professionalism in your conduct, with a kind heart, dignity, poise, and grace.

In closing, don’t feel like you have to “thank” me for your creative spirit, your great dance moves and your love for music. Just remember my generation was also the first to watch MTV!  BUT …You’re Welcome! 

Toothfairy Has GPS

Recently while our youngest daughter was in the hospital for a minor surgery, we had the privilege of taking care of our youngest set of twin grandgirls.

On the ride home from the hospital we began to talk about the tooth fairy as both girls had discovered that their O & P teeth (the other grandmother is a dental hygienist) were loose and they were excited about the possibility of a visit from the tooth fairy.

Of course the discussion of money was the hot topic.  What seemed like a reasonable amount of money when their mother lost her first tooth, seemed almost like an insult to these girls.  However, I was overtaken with the thought that our daughter and son-in-law might feel slighted if their Pop Pop and I got the first visit from the tooth fairy.

So, I simply said, “girls if you lose either your “O or P” tonight, the tooth fairy might not know where you are.  We might need to save the tooth and let your mom and dad put it under your pillow at home.”

Without skipping a beat both girls informed me that they were sure the tooth fairy had a computer and a tracking device.  WHAT?  Who Knew? Furthermore the “wand” probably had GPS. 

Well there you go!! Not only will this generation never write a check or have the privilege of signing the back of a check in cursive, the tooth fairy will probably send a snapchat showing her holding O & P with a message that says, “A deposit has been made to your debit card”.

REAL LIFE - GO NOLES!

Before heading back to college at Georgia Tech, two young men stopped by to share with me what they had been doing over the summer. One told me how his summer co-op program in the middle of Silicone Valley had opened his eyes to the great world outside this small Southwest Georgia town. Not only was his apartment rent more than what most people make in a month here, he still had to pay for his lights, phone and food. We laughed together as he talked about sleeping on the floor for a while because he had no furniture and needed to save up money. The other young man worked several jobs over the summer to save money for school and was ready to return to school to complete his degree as a mechanical engineer.

As proud as I am of these young men, a young lady who visits the bank regularly makes me equally as proud.  Raised by a single father, this young lady works typically 5 days a week, while attending a local college and saving up to attend UGA.   As she walked in my office this week she raised her hand with the anticipation of a HIGH-FIVE!  As I raised my hand to oblige, she proclaimed loudly, I just paid off my loan.   Undeniably an accomplishment she was quite proud of as was I.

While priding myself on helping to empower young people by teaching them the fundamentals of personal finance, I have come to realize that no amount of teaching is more powerful than life experiences. And to each one I said, GO NOLES as they exited.

It didn’t Take A Robo-Adviser

“What did you do this summer to earn some money?” was the first question I asked the room of incoming freshman.  While a few stated they worked with a parent, most stared at me like I was a “robo-adviser” waiting for me to tell them what to say.   As I looked at each student, obviously from different backgrounds, I began to do what any good banker/grandmother would do, I started asked probing questions.

These questions led to lots of discussion about how each student spent money over the summer as I instructed them to list the items and amount spent. Students were then instructed to add-up items they purchased with money not earned but given to them.  Several in the group had been to the beach at least once and had eaten out on multiple occasions, many had been on vacation with family and most had recently been shopping for school clothes.

The light bulb seemed to shine when I simply stated, “While most of you didn’t EARN money this summer, you obviously had your hands on lots”.   With this statement, this group of well educated, cellphone in hand, brilliant minded students began to combine their amounts to come up with an overall total.  To their celebration and my total shock, this group had spent a combined $22,000 over the summer.

This was money spent on wants, not needs! None of this was saved or invested, nor was it used to feed the hungry was my first thought.  Then it hit me!  This money was invested! It provided jobs to mothers and fathers allowing them to feed their families, take them on vacations, and yes even buy new school clothes. The lesson learned, though not exactly how I planned was basic economics! Something I am not sure even a “robo-adviser” could explain!         

Never Turn Down A Million

After a beautiful scenic-filled day along the coast of the Pacific Ocean, I was awakened by a text at 3:30am that hurt my heart.  A friend’s husband had suddenly passed away at a young age. As I lay there praying for her and her children and reflecting on the day’s journey that lay before me, I once again thought of the importance of preparing for the future. 

Most of those traveling with me I know personally. Many of them, like my friend, had experienced their share of heartaches.  Some of them had done what no parent should ever have to do, bury their child.  Several had buried mates, and many had fought the battle of cancer themselves or with loved ones. All of which no doubt had financial implications.

Did they make smart financial decisions in their 20s and 30s that allowed them to now be traveling and enjoy life to the fullest?  My guess is yes!  Studies have shown that even minor contributions made in your 20s and 30s can have a higher payout in retirement than if you were to make larger contributions in your 40s and 50s.

So, why do so many wait to save for retirement or for the unexpected? Is it a lack of desire to enjoy life in later years? Is it because they don’t feel like they have the money or that they have plenty of time?  Whatever the reason, I was blessed to witness the laughter, and sheer excitement on the faces of my life weary travelers.  To paraphrase Mark Twain, “Even if I never have millions, I would never turn down the position!" I will continue to encourage everyone to start saving today because we may not know what the future holds, but none of us would ever turn down the position to enjoy the ride.